My Rewards

   Lately, I have taken on many roles in Life.  Mother, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Cousin, Niece.. 

okay those weren't lately.. But There is more.. Friend. 

I am not a confident person by any means. I am very careful where I make my steps. I am very careful who I trust and let in my heart. I am quiet at first and then you can't shut me up. If I talk to you openly then I am ready to give you my hand to help you across anything for the rest of my life. If you shut me out I worry I did something wrong. If you get rude to me or say something snarky I worry I did something wrong. My whole purpose in my life to help others and make them happy. If I give you my "GUARDED HEART" then I'm like a lost puppy, I will do whatever I can in my power and ability to make you happy, with me, for always. 

WHY LESLIE? WHY Are you saying this?  Because... Sometimes I can't be Strong.. Sometimes I can't be Courageous.. Because I don't believe in... MYSELF... Hubby just said this recently to someone and it broke my heart.. "She Lacks Self-confidence" but.. I know he wasn't trying to be mean.. (although it felt like it at that time) He was stating a fact.. I get hurt easily and then Its hard for me to get back up. But I do rely on Hubby Because he does hold me up Most of the time.. But I have taken sometime now and Pondered  this revelation... when I see this bible verse.. 

2 Chronicles 15:7
Be Strong and Courageous, for your work will be rewarded.

Now.. at church I have been somewhat active.. and Only letting few people into my heart and friend "zone." I have been trying harder to be more confident, although I'm continuously questioning myself inside. But I'm trying to be LESS ME and MORE NEW ME.. Less keeping to myself and More opening up Myself. I have kept to myself so much over the years that I have forgotten to let people in. It has been feeling great, but scary. I am afraid one mistep will ruin everything.
I Love my new church family with all my heart. Its wonderful getting to know them and Realizing they DO have many things in common with me and with my family. For Example: Due to my last surgery.. Sometimes I cry for a weird reason, And Hubby might see me and then run in the opposite direction... APPARENTLY... ALL MEN DO THIS and so I shouldn't take it so personal. LOL SO ALL MEN are buttheads LOL hehehe Ok just kidding :) But.. my point is.. I'm not alone. I was Strong and Courageous and opened my heart... I Let people in.. and I was REWARDED with a GREAT sense of Family and Friendship in my church.. I just need to work on the Needing to make everyone happy part. I don't want to do something wrong and lose a friendship.. yet I don't want to seem Clingy or anything.. There needs to be a happy medium.. Does anyone ever find that happy medium? Does anyone even worry about this stuff or is it just me? LOL I guess God will lead my path into what I should do day to day. I will pray for it :)
HUGS
Leslie

Prayer: Dear Lord, Maker of Heaven and Earth, Please watch over all friendships, families, church families so that they can grow and become stronger. Let us look to you and your word for us to Strengthen relationships and count on each other for what we are lacking. Dear Lord, thank you for bringing people together so they can hold each other up to your light and wisdom and love. Let us be one under You, God. Let us be what you want us to be, so that your Will be done. Dear Lord, I ask that you show our children, your path and your light so that they will someday be what you guide them to be. Give courage to all of us and our children. You are an amazing God and we Thank you even tho we lose track of you. Help us to get back on Track, Dear Lord. In your Name we Pray. Amen.